Train Them Up

“Children, if you want to be wise, listen to your parents and do what they tell you, and the Lord will help you.

For the commandment, “Honor your father and your mother,” was the first of the Ten Commandments with a promise attached: “You will prosper and live a long, full life if you honor your parents.” 

As for the parents, don’t exasperate your children, but raise them up with loving discipline and counsel that brings the revelation of our Lord” (Ephesians 6:1-4, MSG). 

We find a powerful assignment from the Lord in this scripture. He knows how frustrated a child can get when we try to drill them over and over to learn something new. As parents, teachers, or therapists, we sometimes think we have succeeded when our child does what we want them to do. I think there is more to it. I believe Jesus models the perfect way to raise a child in the way He raises us. 

Proverbs 22:6 tells us to “train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.”

So, how do we “train them up?”

We know we have been disciplined by the Father and have experienced the benefits firsthand. In the same way, we know how our child can get easily frustrated, our Father knows how frustrated we can get as well throughout the shaping process. He knows in order to deliver us from our difficulty, He must deliver discipline in a life-giving way. We can say it like this- God knows the no-win scenarios. He takes us by the hand, and in loving discipline and counsel, He trains us up in the way we should go. 

In my career as a Speech-Language Pathologist, I have seen the difference in a child’s face as a child goes from being discouraged to encouraged. I have heard a child change from saying “I can’t do this” to confidently communicating with the new skills they have learned. I have literally seen the “frown turned upside down” for many of my little ones and it brings my heart so much joy to witness. It takes shifting in the teacher. It takes the teacher removing any impatience within them and providing the child with the same patience God has bestowed upon them. It takes changing the language we speak. We call it speaking in the language of Love and using the words of Life. The words of Life I pour out over them empower them to know and believe they can do what I tell them they can do. 

This is why we talk so much about speaking words of Life at MRS. It is how our Father communicates to us and always shapes and molds us into who He created us to be. 

Let’s break it down for a moment. 

Ephesians 6:4 says, “As for the parents, don’t exasperate your children, but raise them up with loving discipline and counsel that brings the revelation of our Lord.”

The Lord tells us not to “exasperate” our children, or one translation says not to “stir up anger.” God knows how capable we are of stirring things up in the lives of others. We can stir up things for Good or bad. You can stir up good things that bring Life and fullness or stir up things that lead to fear or discouragement. 

Let’s think of a cup of water. You pour into it your favorite powdered flavor, then you stir it up. You stir it up until it is concentrated with the new flavor, right? It becomes a new color, too. Sometimes it transforms into a vibrant color that reflects the new flavor put into it. What you put into the bottle affects the new product, correct? What are we pouring into our child? Does it stir up fear and anxiety as we cause frustration? Or is it patience, kindness, gentleness, love, or peace that we pour within them to graciously and kindly lead them in the way they should go? I could go on and on about what we can pour into the children God entrusts into our care. We stir up our child to be either troubled or excited. We want to urge them on into the everlasting Life God has for them. It is so important that what we add to our child's life displays a result of God’s loving discipline and counsel. Are we putting Love or fear into our children? Remember, perfect Love, casts out all fear. We can tell when we stir things up whether it came from Jesus or not, based on the demeanor of His child. 

The Father tells us we should use “loving discipline” to teach our children the way they should go. Other translations say to “bring them up in training.” Loving discipline is the form of training we are to use here. Proverbs 3:12 says, “For the Lord corrects those He loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights.” When spending consistent time with little ones, we have the honor of training a child in correction and loving discipline, just as our Father does with us. We have the honor of instructing our children with the Word of God and teaching them to know and believe the Bible. We have the honor of taking the Biblical principles God is training us in and teaching them to our children so they can grow up to love Jesus with all their hearts. We know that it is not by our strength but in the Lord’s strength that it will be done. The way our child develops depends on God’s mercy. We know that God takes care of His kids way better than we could ever do on our own. However, He delights in working through us as primary influences in the life of His child. He knows He has fully equipped us to speak truth and life into his child and knows that we will faithfully rely on Him to help us teach in loving discipline and counsel. 

God’s Word also shows that we should offer “counsel” to our children as we instruct them. We know that He is Wonderful Counselor. That is His Name, and that is who he is in His Nature. He has provided us with the perfect model to imitate. He is the greatest counselor of all time. We can counsel our children as we advise and direct them. I have found that a demeanor shifts when this is done in love and affection. What we need more than anything is to meet with The Counselor to teach us how to counsel our children. He has everything we need to know. He knows how your child learns best. He knows his or her strengths and needs. He knows the analogies that will make sense to them to make the light bulbs go off in their little brains. Let’s look to the Counselor for how He advises we counsel His child.

Lord, we ask you for your wisdom and knowledge to help the child you have entrusted to us. (I encourage you to study 2 Chronicles 1 to see just how much it blesses God when we ask for these two things). What an honor it is, that God trusted us with these little ones during their time on earth. Jesus has called us to be His ambassadors on earth and to steward faithfully the gifts He has given us. The gift of a child is a big deal. I know you do not take it for granted. Whether you are a parent, caregiver, therapist, educator, or anyone who spends consistent time with these little ones, we should count it as our highest honor to help transform the life of the little one in front of us. To impress upon our children the Love of God, we must take them by the hand and lead them through loving disciple and counsel.  

Let this be our declaration this week-

God is ESTABLISHING me and my family. I am CALLED to speak the truth in love into those He has ENTRUSTED to me. I say YES to the assignment of TRAINING UP the child God has GIVEN me in the way they should go. I teach through the filter of TRUTH, LOVING DISCIPLINE, and COUNSEL. I take hold of NEW opportunities to help shape my child into who God CREATED them to be. I CHOOSE to focus on this at the very BEGINNING of their life. As I COMMIT our ways to the LORD, I LEAD my child into experiencing REVELATION KNOWLEDGE of The Lord.